“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”
That really all depends. If you are someone who struggles with overspending or you haven’t planned for the holidays and will now rely on credit to make your holiday purchases, then it probably isn’t the most wonderful time for you.
The holidays are frightening times for those of us who struggle with the many needs and fears that propel us to want to shop and spend like crazy. And, for those with limited resources, it can leave you feeling less than adequate.
I remember many years ago when my shopping habits were out of control. The more I spent, the better I felt. Years later, broke and unable to buy any Christmas presents, I was left feeling like a failure.
I’ve written many articles and even a workbook to help with overspending and being better prepared for the holidays but what I want to address in this article is how to handle the stress of buying when you feel out of control or don’t have the available resources to make the purchases in the first place. Possibly you are faced with both issues simultaneously. If so, this post is even more important for you.
We are bombarded every day with images of what the media feeds us as the “good life.” Living up to this standard is almost impossible for the average person. If you do attempt at replicating what you see on television, then you are certainly in debt as a result.
What no one wants to recognize and acknowledge is it’s ok – actually more than ok to live within your means, accept where you are financially and begin to change your circumstances using proven methodologies and habits. That’s just not as glamorous.
One of the best things that ever happened to me was when I was facing bankruptcy and couldn’t afford ANY Christmas presents. My daughter was still relatively young and was used to lavish holidays where she would get everything on her list. Her list was jam-packed and it didn’t matter if it cost me $1000, I still bought what she wanted.
My point here is I felt this incredible need to ensure she had a bigger, better, best Christmas each and every year. Once my circumstances changed and I couldn’t shop and spend like crazy, I could finally back away from the need and desire to spend recklessly. It forced upon a shopping respite of sorts.
What was left was just the raw emotions, needs and desires that could not be fulfilled. I was left to sit with these feelings, to evaluate and dissect them and find new ways to fill the needs that had consumed my shopping behavior.
Now some of you reading this are thinking, “That sounds hard.” And, well, it was hard but totally worth it. I no longer spend a ton of money at Christmas time and I am ok with that. I buy my daughter one gift each year and sometimes a few small things that I see along the way.
The holidays have transformed into a season of giving of one’s self through service to others, giving gifts of kindness, laughter, and appreciation and these gifts are better than anything I could ever buy.
* Need help getting a budget together? Click here to get my free Budget Sheet.
Twitter: lifechangenet
says:
Hi Maureen,
Thanks for sharing about those challenges. I know many families have been or are going through these same challenges. And I can tell you that I can’t remember the toys I received when I was young, but I remember having fun with my family. That’s what it is all about.