Making Life Transitions Easier
Any kind of major life change requires 3 things: 1. Acceptance 2. Forgiveness 3. A Transition period Whether going through a divorce, having your beloved Fido die, moving across the country for your dream job, or having a baby, any kind of life change requires the above 3 stages to happen before you can fully… [Continue Reading]
Each and every step we take in this short little journey called life, we’re given opportunity to learn something, adapt that learning to new situations and grow into the people we really wish to be. And boy does life offer a variable learning environment. Life changes us, and often unexpectedly. In the last year my… [Continue Reading]
I do believe we can CHOOSE major life changes by asking… What else is possible here? What’s possible if beyond anything I ever dreamed possible? If I could have anything I want, what would I choose? What would really turn me on to be experiencing right now? If more options were available to me right… [Continue Reading]
We experience energy shifts, passing through active and passive cycles of darkness and light, transforming human consciousness, and where patience, humility, acceptance, compassion and truth all synchronize into one, which is love ~ Nivasha “Wherever pain seems to operate, the presence of God is.” I remember hearing this quote a long time ago; so long… [Continue Reading]
If we can do that, what else is possible? Life changing events are difficult certainly, however, once on the other side of the transition, most of us will feel like we’ve conquered something truly significant. Given time, we gain new clarity and wisdom. As you move through your time of change, let your organizational systems… [Continue Reading]
Life has a funny way of evolving, expanding and yes, changing. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, along comes something that mixes and shakes everything up. It can be challenging to deal with major life changes, especially when you’re not expecting them! Even the positive changes take some adjustment to get… [Continue Reading]
Sometimes, you just want to go home; walk through that door, take off your shoes, and collapse onto the nearest chair. We all need to feel cared for, and where we live should be the absolute first place to start. When we go through difficult times, we often look for outside sources to help, when… [Continue Reading]
Some changes sneak up on you and others you see coming from a mile away. Both can be challenging to deal with, and I’d like to talk, today, about those big scheduled life changes that you put into motion. Maybe you’re pregnant…it’s exciting and scary and when the baby gets here, your life is definitely… [Continue Reading]
Any major life change, whether positive or negative, whether you initiated it or were blindsided by it, is going to create stress. It’s natural when going through change to feel unsettled or stressed because change by its very nature involves having to do, or deal with, things or situations that are unfamiliar. If you don’t… [Continue Reading]
It’s said that moving is one of the top stressors in a person’s life. I must be getting good at managing stress, because I’ve had eight moves in as many years. Yes–eight–and at three of the locales, we were there for less than a year before moving yet again. When you’ve moved that often–with a… [Continue Reading]
Don’t. Don’t DEAL with them. Relate to them. Dealing with them is a battle before you get out of the gate. Relating to them means you start from center, from clarity, from grounded truth in how to create a solution. There is no outcome favorable for both parties when you start from “how can I… [Continue Reading]
How do we deal with “difficult people” without losing ourselves in drama and emotion? Now, this is a question that I have been hoping to find an answer for. I’ve read all the books on how I should be seeing the love and beauty in everyone, even those people who appear to be “mean” and… [Continue Reading]
Do you ever call yourself names that you wouldn’t dream of calling someone else? Ever undermine your confidence with fatalistic thinking before an important event? Have you ever spoken to yourself in a way that is so hurtful, that if you spoke this way to a friend, it would damage, if not end, the friendship?… [Continue Reading]
When I hear about loss, immediately I think of death. But loss can encompass a multitude of things. From losing the love of your life through separation or divorce, to watching your bank account slowly dwindle down to nothing, to losing the place you used to call home. Never in a million years do you… [Continue Reading]
“The only way out is through…” And so it is with loss. Tremendous, crushing, overwhelming loss. We’ve all experienced it: My greatest loss was losing my mom to suicide when she was 51 and I was almost 27. I was four months postpartum, already utterly overwhelmed by new motherhood and in denial about what I… [Continue Reading]
Have you ever felt like you would never be the same after losing that job, relationship or even money? I totally understand, because I’ve been in that dark place too! Heartfelt Heads up: If you are wanting a post that is just a feel good to keep on feeling bad for yourself, then this is… [Continue Reading]
Loss is difficult for everyone. Whether you’ve had to release an uncooperative client, said goodbye to your family home, or buried your best friend, it’s important that you allow yourself to process the loss. Here I share tips for how to successfully let go. Kimberly EnglotKimberly Englot is the President & Founder of The… [Continue Reading]
I’ve lost many things in my life. Jobs. Grandparents. Pets. Money. A house. A business. Even my identity at one point. I’ve watched my parents lose their parents, my husband lose his father, my daughter lose teenage friends. I’ve seen that in the moment these losses feel insurmountable. Yet, I’ve also seen time heal the… [Continue Reading]
“…and yes, you will finally have to admit that who they are isn’t who you thought they were… Dying people can teach us this most directly. Often the attributes that define them drop away – the hair, the shape, the skills, the cleverness. And then it turns out that the packaging is not who that… [Continue Reading]
The reality of loss will affect all of us at one time or another. For some, the effect is minimal, but for others the veracity of loss can be catastrophic. The sense of loss is one condition that everyone on the planet will experience; it is universal. Loss has many faces and forms, but one… [Continue Reading]
“I once was lost but now am found. Was blind, but now, I see.” ~ Amazing Grace by John Newton As I sit down to write about loss, there is a huge resistance brewing up in the center of my chest. This is a topic that so many of us find painful. As I know so… [Continue Reading]
They are like dreams or flowers in air: foolish to try to grasp them. Gain and loss, right and wrong: such thoughts must finally be abolished at once. ~ Hsin Hsin Ming (606AD) Two years ago I was embroiled in a vicious lawsuit that started to turn me sour. I was freaked out by… [Continue Reading]
You’ve made a conscious choice to initiate some positive changes in your life, and you’re excited…you’ve already begun to see the benefits and you feel amazing. You’re feeling energized and alive in a way that you haven’t for a very long time. Life is good. But…you’ve also begun noticing that some of the people in… [Continue Reading]
There you are–we’re walking through life, living it beautifully, radiant with joy or sitting with a deep sense of inner peace. Then something happens. Things are not the same. We grieve the loss. What we grieve most consistently is something amorphous, something no one can hold in their hands: the way things were. We grieve… [Continue Reading]
Warning!! Although the articles I write are typically written to inspire and motivate, I want to delve into a deeper, darker aspect of change, which connects to this month’s theme: Dealing with Loss. So, if you are worried about being bummed out, I would skip this article. For the rest of you, I hope it connects…. [Continue Reading]
This is not a post about bad habits. But as I prepared to write it, I did ask folks on Twitter what their bad habits were. Here were some of the replies I received: • Being on Twitter when I should be doing something else. • Procrastination. If that’s a habit. [Note: I got a... [Continue Reading]
Breaking up with habits is hard to do! How about working WITH any of your “messy” habits, instead of trying to change them? This is one of the cornerstone pieces that I teach my private clients. To help you out, I’ll share three examples of how to work with those messy habits, so you don’t… [Continue Reading]
Abraham Lincoln once said,“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be,” and if anyone knew the truth of those words, he did. He struggled with depression all his life and was married to a chronically mentally ill woman. He had every reason to stay in bed and do nothing,… [Continue Reading]
So you want to change your “nasty” habits, but you’re not sure what to do. Yep, been there. But good news: there’s totally a way to solve it. First, let’s look at what a habit actually is. A habit is a behavioral pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity… [Continue Reading]
Do you forage for food when you’re bored? Do you channel surf before you go to bed? Do you bite your nails when you’re worried? You may not even realize what you do when you are doing it. Habits are ingrained, repetitive to the point we’ve put our lives on autopilot. Worried? Stressed? Anxious? Have… [Continue Reading]
Our daily living patterns are constructed around the habits we follow—whether or not we are even aware of them. The habits we follow often provide a sense of comfort—knowing what to expect as we navigate through our daily schedules. If you are looking to change some of your habits—a common goal at this time in… [Continue Reading]
One of my best friends, Cathy Yost from Canada, gave me this exercise about choosing a word for 2012. We’re getting up early tomorrow morning to talk on Skype to have our first delicious connection of the year, can’t wait to hear her word! Mine is choose. What I discovered over the holidays is that… [Continue Reading]
You’ve heard it said before that “the only constant is change.” As true as that statement may be, many people avoid changes in their habits and routines, even if their current ones are not helping them to achieve the results they desire. As a goal coach, I have been blessed to work with people on… [Continue Reading]
Changing habits can be a tricky business and it mostly comes down to the fact that habits are, well, habitual. We tend to do them without thinking. Before we know it, a piece of chocolate is in our mouth or we’ve spent the evening watching television instead of going for a walk. The trick is figuring… [Continue Reading]
habit hab·it (hab’ĭt) n. A recurrent, often unconscious, pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition. Notice, that habits, by their very definition, are often unconscious. This fact can make attempting to change a habit more than a little challenging, and attempting to force yourself to change habits out of sheer willpower is often… [Continue Reading]
Change is around every corner. The question I have is, “Are YOU the one designing it or are you leaving it up to FATE?” Many people choose to wait on fate. Nothing wrong with that. It works beautifully…for some. But self-motivated individuals who crave, desire, or desperately want things to change in their lives, LOVE… [Continue Reading]
There’s no end to the list of tips, tricks and simple steps that are offered at the beginning of a New Year. Infomercials abound touting products that will transform you from the inside out. Blogs and online articles litter the web revealing a wide range of self-improvement strategies. Ready to shed those extra pounds that… [Continue Reading]
Recently, someone asked me about living with courage. “How do you work with fear?” they asked, then another variation on that question: “How do you handle XYZ? and ABC? But what about…?” After answering a few, I noticed that my answers kept prompting another question– “Well, okay–so how do you do that?” In that moment,… [Continue Reading]
What gives you a pain can also really inspire you! Imagine a really lovely, sunny day where you are having a really refreshing, chilled glass of white wine, sitting around a beautiful, blue swimming pool with your family and friends. You feel totally relaxed, very chilled and at one with the world. Suddenly, you… [Continue Reading]
We know that change in life is inevitable. Things happen for good and bad reasons. Much of change is beyond our control. But how we handle change is within our control. With life changes, we most often experience stress. After all, change is often uncomfortable and the resulting outcome is often unknown. The best way… [Continue Reading]
Short answer? One choice at a time; It’s as simple as making better choices to live a better life. That means examining WHAT you are doing that is giving you your current results. (AKA: what isn’t working.) Do you immediately think, ‘That won’t look good on me’ or ‘I could never do that!’? Do you… [Continue Reading]
It’s quite humbling to admit that for years I didn’t choose what I wanted, I reacted to the circumstances of life the best I could. It would go something like this, “Given what’s going on, what’s the best I can make of it? Lemonade out of lemons.” Except I was literally rearranging my limitations. Like… [Continue Reading]
All is flux, nothing is stationary…is what they say. And I can tell you from my experience that…well, it seems to be true. Change is inevitable, so why do we fight it? More importantly, why do we avoid being the changer, the one directing the flux? Well, we do this mostly because change is hard—it… [Continue Reading]
The New Year is often a time of setting new intentions, goals, and plans for the future. Many of us resolve to change something in our lives. We may want to decrease stress, lose weight, start exercising, start our own business, begin a new relationship, or do something we’ve never done before. No matter what… [Continue Reading]
Change is a natural part of life. And yet, most of us fear change, to one degree or another. It’s the discomfort we often associate with change that freaks us out. And what is that discomfort exactly? It may be a little different for everyone, but in general, that discomfort shows up as nervousness, anxiety,… [Continue Reading]
Why is it so hard to make changes in our lives? I hear this question all the time and the truth is, if it were easy to make huge, positive changes in our lives, everyone would be doing it. But they’re not, are they? People still smoke, work at jobs they hate, have the same… [Continue Reading]
Most people are apprehensive about “change” in their lives, typically because the changes they have experienced were out of their control, and most often, not positive. As we enter the New Year, designing change in your life can, and should, be an exciting and rewarding experience. But where do you start? People who are looking… [Continue Reading]
The holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year, and millions of people suffer from the holiday blues. These are feelings of sadness, tiredness, lack of motivation, decrease in energy and irritability. Sadly, it is not unusual for people to “crash” after the holidays. Here are a few ways you can revitalize… [Continue Reading]
It only takes one person to give off a stress vibe before others are feeling the tension too. And, it only takes one person being mindful of a gathering space to prevent stress levels from rising into the air and spreading to those you call family and friends. 3 Mindful Space Practices to Prevent Stress… [Continue Reading]
The holidays bring excitement, joy and a sense of peace. They also bring in stubborn relatives, old grudges, stress and anxiety. Yes, the Holidays are a time for good cheer AND conflict! So how to deal with Aunt Helen who continually brings up why you don’t have a boyfriend yet? Or spending 3 days with… [Continue Reading]
The clock is ticking and already we are down to less than 20 days remaining in 2011. I am hoping to enjoy time with family and friends and clarify my plans and goals for the new year, of course mixed in with some time for laughter, fun, spirituality and healing. Sound familiar? The holidays are… [Continue Reading]
“You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town…” (written by J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie) Do I really have to sit next to Uncle Joe at Grandma’s Christmas dinner? Does little Timmy really need an Xbox? Do we really have to drop… [Continue Reading]
If ever there is a month heralding significant change, December is it. Most people are required to maintain the same busy lifestyle, meet year-end budgeting, close on business deals before the year end, provide employees, family and friends with small tokens of appreciation and still find time for the myriad of social invites, parties, obligations… [Continue Reading]
As the New Year approaches, you might think that most people go into it with great anticipation and excitement. Unfortunately, that is often not the case. The holidays can create high levels of stress for people, especially those who are not focused on their goals. New Year’s Resolutions are the most common form of goal-setting… [Continue Reading]
What do you do at the holidays that’s meaningful to you and your family? This is a question that I often ask my clients who have a tendency to over-do-it on the holidays and then pay for it health-wise during the following months. One client struggles with a health condition, and the demands she routinely… [Continue Reading]
Along with the stress related to the ton of “doings” this time of year, there comes the inevitable conflicts associated with family events. Wait, aren’t the Holidays about joy? Isn’t a family gathering about wonderful things? Shouldn’t this all be happiness and smiles like the Norman Rockwell paintings we saw as children? Those images from… [Continue Reading]
Ever muttered these words? Ever heard them being muttered at you? “Your disorder is unbearable to me! I want a divorce and to live by myself. I can’t take this anymore.” “I feel so frustrated when I see your stuff stacking up in every area of the house that you walk in. Can’t you just… [Continue Reading]
Goals can be the most powerful driving force in your life! When you stop setting goals, you stop enjoying all of the amazing rewards life has to offer you. Important goals will also make life’s transitions less daunting. I know this first hand. In 1999, my wife was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Her oncologist instructed… [Continue Reading]
Men, this one’s for you…overcoming conflict. I mean, doesn’t it sound like a valiant endeavor? Overcoming conflict… surviving through the battle and ending victorious? Proving to yourself that you really ARE enough, you ARE important, worthy, valuable, cool. There’s overcoming self-created conflict… self designed to consistently give you the addictive high of winning… because you can’t be… [Continue Reading]
The biggest conflict lies in the desire to not have conflict. More than a part of life, conflict is a way of life. Everything from cells to stars must endure it, as conflict is necessary for all growth. Trying to avoid conflict is futile. Instead, by understanding its benefits, you can use conflict to your… [Continue Reading]
“A person however learned and qualified in his life’s work in whom gratitude is absent, is devoid of that beauty of character which makes personality fragrant.” ~Hazrat Inayat Khan Gratitude and the practice of being grateful is an important part of developing maturely. Learning to move forward and recognize the things in our lives that… [Continue Reading]
When thinking about making physical changes, we set lots of goals and often have the best of intentions. So why is it so hard to actually make a change and stick with the goals we set? Watch this video to learn about what holds us back and how you can get started on the path… [Continue Reading]
“Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent.” Steve Jobs Nearly eight years ago I was diagnosed with an illness that makes many women shudder. No one wants to hear the words, “you have breast cancer,” least of all on a dark, cold night six weeks after your… [Continue Reading]
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. ~World Health Organization, 1948 A number of years ago, as I lay on a gurney staring at the overhead lights in the emergency room, nervous and frightened, I couldn’t help but try to analyze what… [Continue Reading]
“Your body hears everything your mind says.” –Naomi Judd For a good portion of my adult life, I silently suffered from anxiety. At times of increased stress and challenge, it would get worse, sometimes leading to complete panic attacks. The panic would come “out of the blue” with no warning whatsoever. I could be relaxed,… [Continue Reading]
It is helpful to put work into perspective for yourself. When you know how work fits into your life, any changes you make in your employment are more meaningful to your life. To round out the dozen started in an earlier post, here are seven more reasons you may work. 1. Work gives you something… [Continue Reading]
If you’ve found yourself on the TLCN website, you’re probably experiencing a change in your life and you’re interested in learning how to better navigate your way through it. Another resource for you to consider during this process, is blogging. Writing about your own personal story is a very therapeutic activity, plus, your experience might… [Continue Reading]
Other than sleep, no activity consumes as many hours of your time as your employment. Unfortunately, you may participate in those hours without giving much thought to what work means to you. You may have considered its meaning when you first were looking for employment or during a change in your job, but it is… [Continue Reading]
If you have a job (or life) that has you wanting to crawl in bed and stay there, try my favorite way to ensure that you wake up on the right side of the bed every day! Click here to get your FREE copy of “Dump the Junk.” Kimberly EnglotKimberly Englot is the… [Continue Reading]
Once upon a time there was a woman who ate stress for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She operated on caffeine and adrenaline from sunup to sundown. There weren’t enough hours in the day to take care of everything on her plate – her marriage, her children, and her career. In fact, she wasn’t even on her… [Continue Reading]
I think one can achieve a very pleasant lifestyle by treating human beings, fellow human beings, very well. ~Rene Rivkin Studies in the past have shown that we are inundated with ads, over 3000 per day, add additional messages to that and our days are spent consistently fielding the communications we receive. A large portion… [Continue Reading]
Change can be a frightening experience sometimes. Especially when the changes taking place involve our livelihood. We wake up, head to work as usual, and the “big bomb” is dropped: “We’re downsizing and no longer need your position here.” Immediate panic flows through every cell. “Now what? How will I take care of myself, my… [Continue Reading]
What’s your life’s purpose? Have you ever really thought about it? Have you defined it? One very distinct advantage people have when they actually define their life’s purpose is that they become remarkably adaptable to change. Stress is the failure of an organism to adequately respond to changes; and in the case of humans, it… [Continue Reading]
As I began to write this article, I realized I need to put being responsible on the shelf for a little while. From an early age, I was taught to be “responsible.” I was expected to get good grades, be home by curfew, and keep my room clean. All of these make sense. However, these… [Continue Reading]
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us… It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission… [Continue Reading]
From the day you are born – actually, even before that – you arrive as a bundle of joy, along with a big, fat stack of papers. Your paper trail has officially begun. Paper will follow you around for the rest of your life, so you’ll want to have organizational skills to manage it. One… [Continue Reading]
So you’re going along, living your life, doing your thing–and then, it happens: you are faced with a massive change in responsibility. Some of those changes are the result of unforeseen circumstances, such as caring for an elderly parent or a sick spouse. Other responsibilities are changes that you were excited to see–before they arrived–because… [Continue Reading]
How do you change your life? Short answer? One choice at a time. It’s as simple as making better choices to live a better life. That means examining WHAT you are doing that is giving you your current results. (AKA: what isn’t working.) Questions to ask: Do you automatically preface everything with, ‘I can’t afford… [Continue Reading]
Life transitions can bring on a whole new level of responsibility. It is also true the other way around: Making new decisions in personal responsibility can lead to very powerful life changes. The most beautiful and empowering moments in my work with clients is when they decide to courageously claim their personal power and commit… [Continue Reading]
A distinct change I experienced in my 40’s was an increase in responsibilities, and therefore, a heavier TO DO list. The love affair I used to have with my TO DO list was becoming toxic, and it was clear I needed to re-think time management. Re-assessing priorities and trimming the list down are effective strategies… [Continue Reading]
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” -Marianne Williamson Many of us don’t fully acknowledge what we’re capable of. We can be more interested in ownership of things than ownership of… [Continue Reading]
Did you know that 5-10% of all disease is genetic? The rest is caused from poor thoughts, poor diet and poor lifestyle choices. I know it’s pretty shocking when you learn this for the first time. We are all creatures of habit and it takes a lot to stop doing anything, even if it is killing… [Continue Reading]
It’s always a little surprising when someone says, “I leave my personal life at the door when I come to work.” While that may be what some companies want to hear, the reality is quite different. People’s lives are simply not compartmentalized; every thought, feeling and emotion felt permeates everything in a person’s day and… [Continue Reading]
I used to live at home, my own room, no rent, meals prepared, pretty cushy. Then I hopped on Uncle Phil’s 19 wheeler and headed to the US and lived on people’s floors, couches, spare rooms until I moved to Tokyo. There I shared a three tatami mat room with two other women, shared the… [Continue Reading]
Wondering how to live a better life? Here are 6 ideas to get you started. 1. Join a group of like-minded people Time is a precious commodity and life tends to get in the way of enjoying a full social life. But we all need and enjoy the benefits of being around like-minded people. A… [Continue Reading]
I had a grandma come to me about a month ago. She had been referred by a doctor in Boston because she wasn’t feeling great about her life. She told me that she used to have such a passion for life, yet now, she was feeling disappointed, irritated with her family, and burdened by a… [Continue Reading]
Dressing fashionably in your 40’s is about learning to work with who you are and what you have. You may be in super shape or perhaps you’ve put on a few midlife pounds (hey, it happens to all of us). Regardless of what your body type is, or weight, it’s important to know where to… [Continue Reading]
You may have heard that Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger are separating. Separation and divorce are such a challenging transition for couples. It seems like no matter who initiates the change in the relationship, it’s a tough time for both people, not to mention their families. In the video below, which does not address the separation specifically, Maria… [Continue Reading]
Let’s face it. We are living in a highly toxic world and it’s wreaking havoc on our bodies. We have 400-500 times more heavy metals in our body today than our ancestors did. The longer we are alive on this earth absorbing, inhaling, ingesting toxins, the quicker our bodies will age and the higher our chances… [Continue Reading]
I’m the first to admit, I haven’t always made use of mind body relaxation techniques. However, once I was introduced to them, I was hooked! It is amazing how deeply relaxing and rejuvenating a few deep breaths can be. Here’s one of my favorite breathing techniques to use when you need a quick mini-break during… [Continue Reading]
When you want to make a change, it’s good to start by getting an idea of what you want and setting some SMART goals. This is what you want to achieve and it’s a critical part of the process. However, it doesn’t tell you how you’re going to make it happen, that is where KINETIC goals come… [Continue Reading]
Alright, so you know it’s time to make a change, but you’re not sure in what direction you want to move. If you’ve been there, you are not alone. People get stuck at this point in the change process all the time. Many times they have lots of ideas about what they don’t want…I don’t… [Continue Reading]
If change is all around us and happening all the time, why is it sometimes so hard to make a change? I think it all comes down to one thing: habits. As John Dryden once wrote, “First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.” Of course, most of these habits were not… [Continue Reading]
I think my most difficult major life change was dealing with an empty nest. I knew the time when my … Continue Reading
It’s impossible to overlook the physical changes of pregnancy. But, as dramatic as those changes … Continue Reading
Any kind of major life change requires 3 things: 1. Acceptance 2. Forgiveness 3. A Transition … Continue Reading
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Theresa Froehlich on How An Empty Nest Can Allow for Life Enrichment
Being an empty nest parent does open up a lot of possibilities just because of having more time and freedom....Lisa Wilder on How An Empty Nest Can Allow for Life Enrichment
"...shift the focus away from the negative aspects." YES! Such empowering advice, Ann. When my boys left home I very...Ann Anderson on Your Home, Your Haven
This is wonderful Wendy! So many timely tips and inspirational ideas. I love it!